Writing Lab: ImmersionOrDie : Flashbacks
Here is Jefferson Smith of ImmersionOrDie Writing Channel on YouTube
talking about Flashbacks in writing.
Personally I disagree with the use of them, I try to avoid them when I can, and only use them to reveal character and advance the plot when absolutely necessary.
Here is how I chose to rewrite Jefferson's scene.
Here is my version:
Delmer, the vagabond, reached out, producing a tiny shriveled apple precariously clutched between the nubs of his hand, not having fingers in full, due to the leprosy bacteria he contracted after crawling around the tombs, looking for treasure.
Now only forefinger and thumb were usable.
He presented to her , the apple.
Delmer stretched it out towards the small child, an orphan girl. She hesitated at first, but reached out suddenly snatching it away from the old man, greedily devouring it quickly. She had not eaten in days.
She looked up feeling guilty, not having anything to give him in return. Delmar comforted her, and said, " It's lucky I ran into you, I have not seen anyone in days, they avoid me, but there isn't anything to be afraid of really,I don't think you can get what I have through contact, but I am not sure? I am however, happy to have your help, to climb the tree..... where I found the apple, and to have help...to gather more. Would you help me? "
Delmar wondered, did she have family, was anyone looking for her? Or was she a vagabond like him? Her appearance was as unkempt and disheveled as his own. He wondered, was she orphaned, after the civil war, like so many who lost family?
Delmar lost his family in that war, the pain of memory was more than he could bear. The small girl reminded him of his daughter, now gone.
(See if you can write a new version of your own and share in the comment section! )
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